Non-Jews are for practice
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
