I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
the condom got lost in my hair
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
