i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
