Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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