nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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