No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
