I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
