My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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