My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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