'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
