woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
