I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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