We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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