I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
