I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize