That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
