Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Randomize
