So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
