Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
