need another drink. this is the easiest way
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
