i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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