I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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