You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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