Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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