i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
