That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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