Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
