She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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