I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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