Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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