READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
