I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
