Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize