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Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
