margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
