I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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