You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
