Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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