is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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