this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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