4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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