Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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