Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
