I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I came so hard my ears popped.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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