Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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