so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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