If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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