she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
someone owes me an orgasm
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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