:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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