I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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