please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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