My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
