our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
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How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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