I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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