oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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