Just fell off a train. Bad.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?