I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?