i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
