So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
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Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
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Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
Pick me up at 9.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!