You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
