we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize